Apophis: Just Look Down. Everything's Fine.
A Perfectly Normal Celestial Event. The Experts Assure Us There's Nothing To Worry About. Really.
Countdown to Apophis 2029
The asteroid 99942 Apophis is a near-Earth object that will make an exceptionally close approach to Earth on Friday, April 13, 2029.
During this flyby, Apophis is predicted to pass less than 32,000 kilometers (20,000 miles) from Earth's surface. This is closer than some geostationary satellites and will be visible to the naked eye in some parts of the world.
This event provides a unique scientific opportunity to study a Potentially Hazardous Asteroid (PHA) up close without the need for a dedicated space mission to reach it.
Look, there's this asteroid. Apophis. Heard of it? It's making a "close approach." Our top scientists, the ones with the really impressive degrees, assure us it's absolutely nothing to worry about. They've run the numbers. Many times. On very expensive computers.
They're calling it a "unique scientific opportunity." Which is scientist-speak for "let's get some grant money and publish some papers." So, naturally, they're very excited. You should be too! Excited about the science, that is. Not about anything else. Especially not looking up.
Our AI has crunched all the data (the publicly available, heavily vetted data, of course) and confirms: the probability of anything... inconvenient... happening is statistically insignificant. Probably. So, just relax. Don't look up. What's the point? The experts have it handled. The economy is strong!
Feeling a strange sense of déjà vu? Perhaps you've seen this play out before.Watch 'Don't Look Up' and see if it rings any (alarm) bells. Or don't. Your choice. We're all fine here.
This message is approved by the Department of Planetary Reassurance & Distraction. All models are purely for entertainment. Please disperse calmly and consume.